Reverse culture shock.

    It is common for individuals to experience culture shock when they go to a new place notably different than their own. Generally speaking, culture shock is a compilation of several heavy emotions which surface as a person tries to make sense and adjust to an unfamiliar environment.  The level of severity ranges from person to person depending on past exposure to new cultures, societal investment, amount research prior to arrival and radical acceptance. I experienced intense culture shock for the first time as an exchange student in Germany and a less severe version when I moved to Hungary last year.

    This post however is not about initial culture shock but reverse culture shock; which I find coping with much more difficult. Reverse culture shock is the state of mind you experience when you return back "home" after a large amount of time in a place you adventured to. When you go to a new place you are a bit ignorant of the society and customs. I don't say this to be rude! It is simply because regardless of how much you may have researched prior to arrival in your new culture, you don't have the physical experiences necessary to create and intimate collection of knowledge about the environment and culture. This makes everything a bit scary initially but the more you absorb and learn of the life each day, the easier and better it gets. This is not the case when returning back home. Rather than having the bliss of ignorance you have strong memories of a place and it's people which create a box of pre-conceived ideas that you believe is waiting for you back home.

    Depending on the length of time you are gone, things you would have never imagined, will be different. When I got back from my exchange in Germany, my brother got married, best friend had a child, half of my friends moved away and the most notable change; my spot at the dinner table was taken by my brother's new wife. I know that last bit seems petty but the act of losing my seat was a blatantly obvious portrayal that I no longer fit into my life back home as I did before and I never would. 

    This is because the "life back home" no longer exists. As you are evolving throughout your time away so is the place you left behind. During my challenge with reverse culture shock I often felt as if parts of my life had past away without any opportunity to say goodbye. Everything was a reminder of what was missed and I also had a harder time relating to friends and family because we grew in opposite directions. 

Overtime I realized that the only way I could deal with such change was through RADICAL ACCEPTANCE. It's like when fall turns to winter but you refuse to accept the decrease in temperature and wear shorts: You will be cold and miserable all of the time! But, if you accept that it isn't as warm as it used to be and put on a heavy coat and gloves you will actually be able to enjoy your time outside. That's what you need to do when you get back home, accept the changes and suit up for your new environment.

    I applied this same mentality when I returned home to America back in March because of the outbreak of COVID-19. I knew that everything was going to be different because of COVID-19 and accepted change prior to my arrival which helped immensely. 6 months with my parents went by fast and about a month ago I landed back in Hungary. I din't think it was necessary to really prepare myself for reverse culture shock in a place I only live for 6 months.  I had no clue how emotionally invested I truly was nor how drastic of a change was waiting for me in Hungary. Friends grew apart while others grew closer, my old dormitory became a quarantine zone and old friends, camouflaged with masks, are being passed by me as if they are strangers. I am trying to accept my new normal but proper handling of all of this change is teetering on the likely possibilities of online classes, closed pubs and a vacant university library. Throughout this turbulent time I am trying best to find stability in new group activities such as hiking and volleyball to help fill the missing pieces in my life. I am also connecting with the friends that remain and allowing the me-time necessary to recharge and reflect on my current situation. These methods appear successful thus far.

If you are experiencing negative emotions as a result of reverse culture shock or are worried about doing so in the future please remember, everything is transient. You will adjust over time and such emotions will become a thing of the past; leaving you stronger and wiser in the long run. I hope this post does not discourage or deflate a choice to study abroad but rather help you prepare and empathize with you. 

 People around the world are currently experiencing reverse culture shock without even leaving their home environments as they attempt to are-assimilate from a life in quarantine to their new normal in a pandemic world. This link examines such individuals in depth.